Philaye Films
blog post 1.1.jpg


adjusting to a new city


     On Instagram, moving to a new city looks completely glamorous. New sights. New people. New adventures. And during the honeymoon stage, it’s that glamorous to the mover too.

     But honeymoons always end, and that excitement of living in a new city is no different. For some it may end within weeks, and for others (like me), it will end months down the line. Either way, the brand new nature of it all fades, and dreams gradually become routines.

     There will be lonely times. You’ll find yourself in several long distance friendships and familyships (lol yes I made that up), while also trying to build new bonds in your new setting. The cons of your new city will suddenly start to cloud the pros. As a defense mechanism, you will sometimes crave escaping— to move either back home or to a brand new city where, from the outside, life seems perfect.


     No one said being a wandering dreamer was easy, but you can definitely conquer the mountain. My honeymoon of living in New York City ended in 2018, and the following tips are how I fell back in love with living here. I hope they can help you too!


1. Traveling


As I said, you will crave escaping. So escape! Temporarily.  On a vacation or home. Immersing yourself in a different setting truly refreshes your mind and soul. It’s like stepping into a hot jacuzzi. 


But the thing is, when you step out of that jacuzzi and jump into a pool, you feel freezing. You wish you could stay in the jacuzzi forever, or just get out of both altogether (move home). Rather than letting the vacation make you wish you lived elsewhere, take that effortless happiness you feel and apply it to your actual life— regardless of where you are. Be patient. Swim around in that pool until the frigidness wears off.


2. Getting out of the house

Earlier this winter, I was going through an unpleasant time. One Saturday evening, I was on the verge of an unnecessary nap when it hit me: I needed to get up and take the first step towards turning my life back around.

I RELUCTANTLY left the house at 6:00pm to get a haircut. And then I went to the grocery store. Next thing I knew, I was hopping back and forth all over the NYC scene again day after day, loving my life. The bed and Netflix can be comfortable, but making yourself look nice and stepping out of the house is the first step to finding your unconditional joy again. So when in doubt, get up and GET OUT!


3. Embracing and mastering living in your own world 

This one is important. You'll sometimes feel like you’re missing out on so much back home. You’ll feel like everyone you’ve ever known, especially your family, is growing up without you there to see. You’ll question your choice. 

The fact is, you could be sitting right on someone's face and they would still be living in a completely different world than you; they’d still be living in their own world. You own your very own reality, of which only you and God, the Universe, or whomever you believe in are in control. When you fully digest the fact that the higher power is the one person you’ll never have a long distance relationship with, you begin to master dreaming and living in your own world.


4. When in Rome, do as the Romans do

Leave your comfort zone and live how people in your new city live. Sure, many things may not be activities you’d typically choose if given more options, but you don’t have to live there forever. Matter of fact, you can’t. And these are your options right now, so seize every opportunity you’re blessed with. Give yourself memories that you can look back on and fall in love with all over again. Those wont likely come from feeling too good to acclimate to the local culture. Enjoy your time on Earth no matter what your current location is.